I’d like to bust a few myths about introverts.
First, let me define introversion. To me, introverts are people who gain energy from time alone, and are drained by spending time with people. Extroverts, on the other hand, are energized by time with people, and find time alone draining.
Simon Sinek puts it this way: an introvert starts the day with a given number of coins. Every social interaction means they spend a coin. By the end of the day, introverts are out of coins (and energy). On the other hand, extroverts start the day with no coins. Every social interaction gives them a coin. By the end of the day, the extrovert has a pile of coins (and a bunch of energy).
Hope this helps. Now, to today’s myths.
Myth one: Introverts are shy
Reality: Shyness is basically anxiety about social situations. So some introverts are shy. As are some extroverts. Introverts get their energy from alone time. It’s a separate personality issue from anxiety. You might think introverts are shy because introverts tend to not talk much in social settings. This is because introverts dislike small talk, and would prefer to go deep with one or two people than chat about the weather.
Myth two: Introverts don’t like people
Reality: While there are some misanthropes, introverts generally like people. It’s just that people drain the introvert’s battery, which means there are limits to how much time introverts can spend in groups. So introverts tend to be selective about who they spend time with, and for how long. It’s a matter of rationing limited energy.
Myth three: Introverts need to act more like extroverts
Reality: I hate! this myth, and its cousin, that introverts need to become extroverts. Introversion is a personality trait relating to how one gets energy and becomes drained. Introverts are therefore completely normal and don’t need to change. Instead, the world needs to recognize introversion and the strengths it brings, rather than trying to get introverts to change. More on this in a future post.
Really – when was the last time someone told an extrovert they needed to be more like an introvert?
What myths about introverts have you heard and would like to bust? Let me know in the comments.